


Decoded - In My Office Interlude

by mokochii



Category: South Park
Genre: Admin Kyle Broflovski, Blossom Im so sorry for this late ass gift, Boss/Employee Relationship, Business AU, CEO Eric Cartman, Ike being a nosy shit, Implied Sexual Content, Kyman-Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-29 14:25:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19021759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mokochii/pseuds/mokochii
Summary: Ike has his suspicions about Kyle's boss. His brother tries to dismiss it.Companion Piece to "In My Office Now".





	Decoded - In My Office Interlude

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back after a few months of on a writing hiatus. I kinda consider this my comeback piece since I've been absent from the fandom for awhile. Two things I wanna note about this particular one-shot.
> 
>  
> 
> -Fic takes place during the events of "In my Office Now". When exactly, I don't really know, but I would consider this fic taking place during the early stages of Kyle and Cartman's secret "relationship".
> 
>  
> 
>  -This is a VERY late Valentine's Day Gift in the Kyman Server for my friend Blossom who has been patiently waiting for her present. *sweats* She had three prompt suggestions, and because I'm such a late shit, I decided to combine all three for her present. Thanks friend for waiting for so long! 

“So I can get this?”

“Sure.”

“And this too?”

“…fine.”

“Oh, and this?”

“Now you’re pushing it.”

The younger male narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips as the bubblegum in his mouth blew wide. His gaze was outward, staring annoyingly at his surroundings. “You’re a buzzkill Kyle.”

His brother had his focus on the paper in his hands, obviously distracted. “Thanks for the comment Ike.”

The younger Broflovski dragged his feet beside the redhead, the sounds of the clanking metal cart jagging against the porcelain supermarket floor. Beside them was a shopping cart. “I think age made you boring.”

“And collage made you cocky.” Kyle said with a smile, resuming to push the cart forward.

Ike’s grin was mischievously cheery. “But you said this was our ' _bonding brother_ _time'_ Kyle, as lamely as you put it.”

The redhead shook his head. “When I said buy whatever I don't mean things that cost over a hundred.”

“But it’s a headset.”

“You still have the one dad got you.”

“Yeah, but _this_ one is the latest model from PS4. And I should have an extra pair when I visit you. I think I deserve it considering my GPA standing.”

Kyle eyed his brother warily. It was true, Ike was a genius in many retrospects. Skipped two grades, having over 90 average marks, his teachers of all years fawned over Ike’s performance as the school’s golden child. However, unlike Kyle, Ike held no pride when achieving high marks. It came naturally to him, hence his boredom throughout his entire childhood school life. The only time he liked to gloat was when it was convenient, or he desired something, like – _at this current moment_ – the fucking headphones.

“I’ll buy you a PS4 model, but not the latest one.” Kyle bargained.

Ike crossed his arms. “Not a secondhand one?”

“Ugh…fine.”

“Then deal.”

Ike was on reading week, and instead of heading back home in South Park, he decided to spontaneously show up at Kyle’s door in the city without a warning. _Don’t want mom and dad pestering me_ , he said whenever asked. Ike feigned how home would give him distractions, but in actuality, Kyle figured Ike was simply too lazy to head back, and preferred to remain “independent” in the city atmosphere when he could.

“I still think we should order,” Ike said as he eyed the row the international foods, reminding him of his earlier declaration when they were driving. “I’m craving Chinese.”

“I’m not ordering when we’re literally in a grocery store. That’s wasting money.” Kyle pulled out a box of cookies off the shelf and dunks it into his cart. “Besides, I said I’ll be cooking something.”

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Ike muttered under his breath.

“What’d you say Ike?”

“Eh, nothing. Oh look!” he snatched the list right from Kyle’s hands, “I see frozen pizza on the list. I’ll grab that.”

“That’s not even on the – “ but in no time Ike already sprinted off, (albeit excitedly) disappearing from sight.

Kyle shook his head. As much Ike desired to be treated like an adult, (and he surely acts more mature than most people his age), he could oddly be the most impressionable person by the dumbest and most trivial thing, like pizza.

Kyle proceeded to continue down the isle, gazing at the shelved food and apparently _not_  the people around him. His cart hit a stumble, and Kyle abruptly realized he must’ve hit a person.

“Shit, sorry –“ Kyle peered up, and his voice was caught in his throat.

Two very familiar brown eyes stared back at him – bewildered, amused – all mashed into one. “Well hello Broflovski.”

Kyle crinkled his brow. “Cartman?” He observed his stature. Weirdly enough, he still was wearing one of the many dozen suits he doted at work, looking starkly out of place in the colorful disparity of the supermarket. Thankfully his usually swept back hair displayed more on the messy side, easing Kyle’s self-consciousness of wearing a basic zip-up sweater and jeans.

Cartman interrupted his thoughts though, glancing idly at the grocery cart. “Shopping eh?”

“Huh? Oh…yeah,” he replied, trying to take this abrupt encounter with his boss with stride. Not that he couldn't handle Cartman, but it was a rare occasion to see him outside of work settings. And if he did see him outside, it was at Cartman’s house…fucking.

Oh right they were fucking. Kyle tried shoving that thought away.

“Do you…live around here or something?”

Cartman scoffed. “No, why the fuck would I?”

“I don't know, I guess…” a small part of wanted to probe more about it, cause hell, why _would_ Cartman be at this grocery store? It wasn't as if this location was near the office. This place was only a few blocks away from Kyle’s place, and it must be out of Cartman’s way to venter here.  From what Kyle recalled Cartman didn't live in this area. Something told him not to dismiss it as a coincidence, but he instead answered back, “…I never see you around here.”

 “ _Well_ , my little Jew,” said his boss, smirking a bit, “Just cause you come here doesn't mean you own it. I have free range to go wherever I want.”

Kyle frowned. It should bother him his boss called him “Jew”, and could easily file a report to HR, but again, not like Kyle could get out of their situation scout free. “I said to stop calling me that.”

“But you call me fatass. It’s not nice to call your superior that.”

“That barely equates the same weight as calling someone a Jew!” he argued, pushing the cart toward as to emphasis Cartman to move. Of course, he didn't.

“It’s more polite to ask Kyle.”

“As if you accept my word.”

“Hm. I don't.” He grabbed a bag of cookies from Kyle’s cart and stared at it skeptically. “Didn't think you’re a cookie hoarder.”

“I’m not.” He said, reaching over to take back the item.  “They’re my brother’s.”

At the mention Cartman’s brow rose. “Another Broflovski? God, and I thought one was enough to exist.”

“And I thought the same about you.” Kyle returned, finally maneuvering the cart out of the brunet’s way. “Now go buy your Cooper tea and leave.”

“How you know I’m buying that?”

“It’s the only brand you’ll drink, and you were complaining about how you ran out at your house. I recall you saying, _‘if people died making this, then it’s worth drinking_.’ ”

Cartman blinked dumbly at that claim, but a smirk quickly worked up onto his face. “Ah, you remember. A good secretary you are.”

“Admin.”

“Same shit.”

“And I’m supposed to know,” He said, not knowing why he wanted to continue this topic, “On some errands, it’s always fucking tea you want to drink. I think I’ve seen you drank coffee twice, and that’s when you’re cranky. You prefer energy drinks as an alternative.”

Cartman paused to look at him. His tone was neutral. “You know a lot about my habits.”

“Well…yeah,” Kyle replied, hating the odd look Cartman was giving him. It didn't quell his sudden anxiousness beating in his chest. “It’s my job remember?”

Something flickered in Cartman’s eyes Kyle didn't understand. “True.” His tone was curt, though it turned airy with a sudden grin. “But that’s not all your job is.”

“Oh is that tolerating you all day too?” He gestured, grabbing a carton of milk from the side.

“If you mean tolerating the size of my dick in your mouth, then _yes_.”

Kyle hackled out a sharp cough. That image went straight to the forefront of his mind, and Cartman staring snidely was _not_ helping.

His embarrassment seeped through his cheeks, but he grumbled annoyingly to hide it. He threw a box of crackers into the cart, irritated. “No wonder you’re out here. You wanted dick.”

“As if I was seeking _you_ out specifically,” Cartman responded, too quickly as if he was avoiding further questioning. “I can get dick whenever I want.”

“Pff, as if anyone want it.”

“Well you want it.”

Kyle gripped the handlebar. There was no way he’ll admit to something like _that,_ even if it was true (Cause Jesus fuck it was).

But he wasn't gonna let Cartman win this little power play, not today. “So what? I’m not the one out here seeking on his admin for another fuck.”

“Goddammit Kyle, I told you, coincidence!”

Kyle rolled his eyes. Despite Cartman being his boss, his behaviour switched from dickhead to being defensive about the dumbest shit.

“Alright, alright!” he veered his hand out, stopping Kyle’s hand from pushing the cart any further. “Okay, let’s say, theoretically, I did wanted to see you for a quickie. Something fast but hot.” He leaned over, “Would you say no?”

“…Yes.”

“You just ruined the fucking mood Kyle.”

Kyle shook his head, trying to give themselves distant because he sometimes couldn't think right with Cartman too close. “It’s just…I have my brother with me.”

“So without your brother you’ll come over now?”

“Y-You’re just twisting my words – “

He moved closer, Cartman’s breath at his ear. “I rather twist your legs up in my bed as I pound you.” He whispered, and Kyle’s eyes widened. “Need to hear your screams soon.”

Kyle stared down at their hands on the railing, inches closer and they’ll be touching. “Don't say shit like that here.” He said faintly, now choosing to look up at him. “Keep yourself in check.”

“Kinda hard when you’re here.” He said, and Kyle zeroed in on that and _what the hell did he mean –_

“Kyle! I’m bringing four pizzas cause I don't trust you.” Ike strolled up, hands full of boxes. He sluggishly dropped the items in the cart, and then turned to his brother. “Also couldn't find the pasta stuff on the list.”

Kyle snapped out of his stupor, noticing his brother, and apparently, his surroundings. “Uh, that’s okay. We’ll just make something else for dinner.”

Cartman glanced down to the black-haired boy, then eyed Kyle back as if comparing. He twirled his heel, walking away with stride with hands in his pockets. “See ya Broflovski.”

Ike watched the departing man with quiet observantly before turning his attention back to Kyle. Arching a brow, he asked: “Who’s that?”

Kyle resumed pushing the cart, sighing. “My boss.”

Ike almost sputtered his next words. “W-What? Seriously?” He shook his head. “Never would’ve guessed.”

 “Why is that so shocking?”

“Dunno…” he shrugged. “You two didn't act like you work together. He didn't act really boss-like.”

“He’s an asshole.” Kyle deadpanned. “Don't be fooled by his demeanor.”

“Okay…then what about you?”

“What?”

“Why did you act weird?”

 “I didn't act weird.” He pushed it even harder, almost bumping into a lady near him. Damn he was just not paying attention today.

“Are you close with him?”

He almost laughed. “Absolutely not.”

“Then why he touch you?”

Crap how much did Ike see? “He didn't touch me.” Kyle replied with a somewhat steady voice.

Staring momentarily to read his brother’s face, Ike’s face grimaced into small abhorrence. “Ew, don't tell me you’re doing the freaky with your boss.”

“NO!” he argued, realizing how his yell was heard throughout the aisle. He gripped the railing tight, calming his voice. “That’s…ridiculous. And stupid.”

Ike squinted dubiously. “Sure.”

“I’m serious Ike. Don't tell your crazy stories to mom or something.”

“Ha. Like I would tell her how her supposed responsible child is fucking around with his boss. She already has crazy enough views ‘bout the city. I rather not.”

He sighed. “Good.”

Ike blinked a few times, almost in disbelief. “Wait, so I was right? You’re sleeping with him?”

“Yeah – wait, no I’m not! Stop assuming."

Ike whistled, grabbing his phone from his pocket. “Damn Kyle. Didn't know you like those power-driven dudes. Kinky.”

Kyle pulled the phone away, receiving a weak _Hey!_ from Ike. “Don't get snarky.”

Ike feigned innocence. “So now that I knoooow...I think a better bargain about my headphones should be in order."

Kyle rolled his eyes. Curse little brothers.

**Author's Note:**

> The prompts were 1. Kyle and Ike being bros, 2. Bussines AU inspired, 3. Something eluding M content.
> 
> I don't know when I'll update my other fics, but I'm hoping sometime next month if life allows me.
> 
>  


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